"A lap dance is a type of erotic dance performed in some strip clubs in which the patron is seated, and the dancer is either in immediate contact (contact dancing) with the patron, or within a very short distance. Variant terms include couch dance which is a lap dance where the customer is seated on a couch, and bed dance where the customer lies down. In some places a block session (usually half an hour to an hour) can be booked in a champagne room, where the dancer and the patron talk in an intimate setting and drink champagne together. The dancer might perform lap dances too, depending on the patron's wishes."
Just so we're straight here - the above is an accurate description of what is to be expected when purchasing a lap dance.
Solicitation: A person who asks someone to commit an illegal act has committed the criminal act of solicitation. An employee who agrees in an employment contract not to solicit business after leaving her employer and then mails a letter to customers asking for business may be sued by the former employer for violating the non-solicitation clause of the contract. The crime of solicitation is completed if one person intentionally entices, advises, incites, orders, or otherwise encourages another to commit a crime.
To request or attempt to coerce an exotic dancer to perform sex acts in exchange for money falls into the above legal definition of solicitation. This includes offering any form of compensation for her to entertain outside of a properly licensed environment.
"Sexual Assault: Unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling."
Within the establishments I perform in, touching any body part while undressed/undressing is an act of prostitution, and therefore I do not invite or allow it; thus making it also an act of sexual assault. Any sexual form of touching while dressed & not performing is also an act of sexual assault. An establishment which allows either of these acts may face loss of liquor license, loss of business license, fines, and/or criminal charges. In some counties all performers working for an establishment which did not prevent an illegal act made by ONE employee, may face criminal charges regardless of uninvolvement.
Please reference this before asking me, "Can't I just?", "But if nobody sees?" "Don't you want to make more money?"
No.
No.
I make plenty of money.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
I know you want it
3 farmers walk into a strip bar. A hot young dancer approaches the table and asks, "Would you like a dance?" The 1st farmer says, "Nah, I don't do dances. Ask this guy!"
The 2nd farmer he'd pointed to says, "I'd love to, but my wife would kill me. This guy wants a dance from you though!"
He points to the 3rd farmer who responds, "Who me??? I hate dances! The FIRST farmer wants one! Come on, I'll pay for you to take him to the Champagne Room!"
Where's the punch line? Oh there isn't one. That's just a typical nights work. The actual ending to the story is either that the 1st farmer flatly refuses his free dance his buddy bought him, therefore all three farmers feel awkward and avoid eye contact, or farmer #1 goes for it, loves it, and all 3 farmers buy dances all night long.
Moral of the story: When a group of men (especially coworkers) attend a strip club together for the first time, they each nervously avoid being the 1st one to buy a lap dance. In order to cover up their desire to go get one, they create the game of, "No him, no you, no that guy!" until they've paid someone else to be the sacrificial lamb. Once that guy's been so horrifically forced to have his dance, the others are allowed to then say, "Oh alright, I guess I better have 1 to since we made you do it!"
Please take the high road fella's! We know that you fear the judgment of your acquaintances. We know you fear your office staff or wives finding out about you, but don't let that ruin your night out. None of you were forced through those doors by gunpoint, so apparently each of you wanted to check out some strippers.
You don't sit down in a restaurant then pretend you're not hungry & hope somebody else orders for you after the waitress has approached you. Instead of trying to test the grounds out with your buddies, next time just respond, "Oh yeah, we each have to get one since we're here. Have a seat!"
Boom. Done.
You'll never climb the ladder if you don't set guidelines & take initiative.
The 2nd farmer he'd pointed to says, "I'd love to, but my wife would kill me. This guy wants a dance from you though!"
He points to the 3rd farmer who responds, "Who me??? I hate dances! The FIRST farmer wants one! Come on, I'll pay for you to take him to the Champagne Room!"
Where's the punch line? Oh there isn't one. That's just a typical nights work. The actual ending to the story is either that the 1st farmer flatly refuses his free dance his buddy bought him, therefore all three farmers feel awkward and avoid eye contact, or farmer #1 goes for it, loves it, and all 3 farmers buy dances all night long.
Moral of the story: When a group of men (especially coworkers) attend a strip club together for the first time, they each nervously avoid being the 1st one to buy a lap dance. In order to cover up their desire to go get one, they create the game of, "No him, no you, no that guy!" until they've paid someone else to be the sacrificial lamb. Once that guy's been so horrifically forced to have his dance, the others are allowed to then say, "Oh alright, I guess I better have 1 to since we made you do it!"
Please take the high road fella's! We know that you fear the judgment of your acquaintances. We know you fear your office staff or wives finding out about you, but don't let that ruin your night out. None of you were forced through those doors by gunpoint, so apparently each of you wanted to check out some strippers.
You don't sit down in a restaurant then pretend you're not hungry & hope somebody else orders for you after the waitress has approached you. Instead of trying to test the grounds out with your buddies, next time just respond, "Oh yeah, we each have to get one since we're here. Have a seat!"
Boom. Done.
You'll never climb the ladder if you don't set guidelines & take initiative.
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